Better day.

Today was a better day with the kids.  The girl was home sick so no drama there.  Charlie talked to his teacher and is able to do his own project which made him very happy.  James and Charlie had a fight at school today, but they managed to work through it.  I think they were distracted by winning their volleyball game after school.

I had a good day.  I managed to get all my furniture back into the Living Room after acquiring an old piano that has been in the family for years.  So happy.  Let the music ring in my house, maybe I will even learn to play.  That could be interesting giving my tone deafness and inability to hear the beat in music.  (I am one of those people that clap along to music at a different beat than the rest of the world!)

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Only I can change my life.  No one can do it for me.

-Carol Burnett

So excited

Pretty happy I received a new product to test!  I signed up for a beta testing team and they were kind enough to select me to product test another product in their line...  Stay tuned for more details.

Already....

Well after a week off, for fall break (crappy weather, and broke parents makes for a dull week off for the kids) the kids are back at it again.  By "back at it" I mean the crap has hit the fan, already.  Well on a positive note, no one was in the office today.

So girl comes home almost in tears.  She was out with a bunch of friends today and one of the kids decided that it was time to tell everyone in the group, except my daughter, that they are all her best friends.  She made sure to tell Rose that she was not part of her best friends list.  I sure hope my kids never tell other such hurtful things.  I always try to turn negative experiences into a learning experience, but it's getting harder when there is 'stuff' everyday.  Then some other boy decided to tell Rose that she is the most annoying child in the class.  Did I mention that the teachers say she is so quiet and sweet?

This week my kids have to do a project that requires group work.  (25% of their mark).  Well my kids are not stupid but are auditory so they are called out of class to write exams.  (Translation, they are dumb.  Translation no one wants them in their group.)  Needless to say there was three kids left out during group selection (2 of which were my children, the other one was sick.)   They both were rejected by their so called friends, as the 'smart' kids were available.   I am disgusted that the teacher can't take the time to split the kids into groups and 'switch' things up from time to time.   My one son is frustrated with his lazy group who will not entertain any of his ideas.  The other kid came up with an idea and some other kid in the group told everyone it was his idea.   Charlie just wanted James to go with him, but James has no interest.  So tears and upset kiddo tonight.   To make it even better at practice tonight the rotten 'assistant' coach (parent helper/PITA) decided to tell my kid he needs new shoes and shouldn't wear his again.   Then he likes to push the kids around, he belted my kid in the stomach so hard that his brother even notice he almost winded my kid.  Now Charlie is my sensitive one who is having issues, between the slap and the shoes he had to go to bed early tonight.   I just bought the shoes in September, due to current economic conditions I cannot afford new shoes.  Now my kid doesn't want to go to school.  This also happens to be the parent of the kid who told Rose that she is the most annoying kid in the class.

I just wish my kids could find their place, good friends, kind people and will stick up for one another.

Kids are mean, teenagers are mean, parents can be mean, teachers can make the issues worse then they need to be.

Not a happy Mom today.  Here's to a better day tomorrow.

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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
 -Charles R. Swindoll

The complicated one...

Charlie, the biggest warmest smile, it draws people in.  Sadly he is so sad inside.  This kiddo started life as a happy little guy, he was afraid of so many things.  We tried to help him through his fears but as the years went on it got more difficult.   When he was small he was terrified of the wind and people at the door.   School was hard for him, new things are so very hard for him.  We have had times where we thought he was making progress.

This past summer things really turned for the worse.   He started having outbursts around others, a first.  Sadly it happened around old friends of my hubby and I, they were very understanding.  Charlie started yelling and pushing another kid around.  He had never done that before.

From there school started and with a new principal at the school things got ugly fast.   He had some kids that threw him under the bus (lying).  At one point he was in the office and the VP told him to stop crying and grow up, that he needed to realize that there was consequences to his actions. (Great way to treat a kid with anxiety).   Turned out the other kids fessed up and he wasn't in trouble.  Meanwhile I have a kid freaking out at home.  The first three weeks of school were 'so much fun'!  (Sarcasm, in case you were wondering!  They really need a sarcasm font, maybe I should create one!)

To add to this poor kids anxiety they decided to change the way he writes tests.  The kiddo has reading comprehension issues and has his tests read to him for the last 4 years.  They decided to use electronic means to deliver his tests (you know so we don't tie up an aid).   He has been getting 80%+ in his class,  the new test method he got 38%, then they let him re-write with another electronic delivery 49%.   Gee is it working?  So now I have a kid that is messed up and hard on himself freaking about his marks.

I have told them no electronic devices for Math and Science as I don't want his marks to plummet in those classes as well.  They are not sure if they can accommodate this request.  Insert angry parent here.

So now I have two angry teenagers in the house.  Here's to making it until they are 20.

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The dog whisper is impressive, but I need the number of the smarta** teenage whisper.

-your ecards

James

So my first born has become quite the challenge these days.  This is a chatty young fella that has an amazing ability to be so kind and loving.   He has always been a kid that needs to go on about what every one else is doing and correct their behavior.  Lately it is more about getting everyone around him in trouble.  I really don't know what do with this kiddo these days.

He is angry and become so disrespectful I really don't know what to do.  There has been so much negativity in the house due to the struggles his brother has been having, I am sure he is struggling with all of this but it's not ok to treat me so horribly.

I have tried to find his 'currency', you know that one thing that will make him sit up and take notice.  His brother tells me that he brags at school that he doesn't care if he gets grounded or in trouble, one of his friends was not impressed.  He truly doesn't care, it is noticeable at home.  My heart breaks that he currently thinks so little of me.  (Dad is the soft one in this house, Mom is the enforcer)

I think the teenager years are going to be trying times and a test of my anxiety medication! :)

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Vampires and teens have a lot in common. Teens have surging hormones, vampires have surging blood lust. Teenagers think they're immortal. 
-P. C. Cast

Tough Times

So my extended family is a little messed up, actually I am pretty much family deprived.  I have always stayed close to my one Aunt and Uncle and just recently found out my Uncle is full of cancer.  We are just waiting for more information and prognosis.  I am guessing the prognosis will not be great based on the conversations so far.  My heart goes out to both my Aunt and Uncle.  I can't imagine how difficult it must be for two people who have been married 60+ years to process such news.

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Be thankful for this day.
-unknown

Welcome

Starting again....

In the past I have found such great support in the internet community that I felt it was time to come back.   I work at home and teach computer courses part time.  I am a mostly lonely Momma dealing with a teenager with severe anxiety.

Me: I am a Forty something Mom, with severe anxiety and depression.  Currently my anxiety and depression is currently under control.  I am raising twin boys and a daughter with my husband.  The hubby feels like there is never enough time or money and is frustrated with our worn out cars that he keeps patching together.  I try to keep busy working from home, but at times find it very lonely.

My boys (James, Charlie):  Two amazing kids that are so different it is hard to believe they are twins.   They are currently suffering through Jr. High

My girl (Rose):  She is a unique character that is going to keep me on my toes for a very long time.

Here is where I am going to find myself again and find the peace that I need in my life.

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When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen.
-Harley Davidson